Recently my little source of happiness is a tiny baby bird growing up in my balcony. I have been observing it since it’s born. Now it’s learning to fly. Today it was sitting on the wall outside the railing and looking down. It can still not fly nicely so I was afraid it might fall down from third floor. It sat there for one hour and just observed the surroundings. Then it came back inside and flew and sat at a higher place. I was having a discussion with my father at breakfast how little squab also does risk management before trying to fly high. His immediate reaction was yes see even birds understand that but you couldn’t when you left your job without any plans for future.
I was in amid people who never liked me and no matter how hard I try they would never support me. I was asking for help from every possible person but noone stood with me and instead I was labelled as a non-performer. How can anyone survive in a new job when there is noone to support and guide you, people hate you for no reason and you hardly eat for 8 months. I was going on the path of depression where everything seemed meaningless. I didn’t had even one person who would understand me. I felt as if my existence doesn’t matters to anyone. Luckily I found support in my family where few supported my decision and I came back home. Experiences of that place still haunts me and I break down so often. Yes I took a risk that day.
Risk to feel alive and to be able to restart my journey again. It’s difficult and full of criticisms. Still I feel better to hear such things from my family instead of a boss who forgot to be a human and showed her power. I took a risk to be happy in my career, my father see it as a stupid decision. I also feel bad for not having a job. I can’t buy a lot of things for myself. I also want to search a job and feel secured. I just want to give myself some time. I want to be kind to myself to convert this risk into goodness. Baby bird also saw the risk involved but still tried to fly high. It didn’t arranged for any safety net. It was just making up the mind that risk has to be taken and feel confident to take it today. I just need to be patient with the words of people around me and just let my success give an answer whether, ” Risks in life are good or bad especially if they have the power to change the course of your life. Be positive and patient is my mantra to deal with the criticism to which I have no answer at present”.